What do you want? Now, there’s an existential question for you, and one that psychologists and philosophers have studied for years. There are so many excellent things in the world that it can sometimes seem overwhelming. Many people are single-minded; they know exactly what they want, and how to go about getting it. Others, the more infuriating among us, don’t seem to ever know what they want!
But then there are people who have an idea of what they want but aren’t always sure how to go about getting it. Most of us likely fall into this category and some things can be harder than others. If you want you and your partner to spend more time together, this is something that can probably be done fairly easily. If you want the dream career path, this might be more tricky to achieve. So, these are some of the great tips for helping you get what you want in the least stressful way possible.
Identify what you want
The first step on the road to getting what you want is to first identify what it is that you want. There are so many things that you might want, but, until you narrow it down, you can’t make progress. Be single-minded and driven; identify what you want and make your mind up about it. Once you have done this, and you are in the right mindset, you will be able to work on how to get it. This is the first step in the process, and you can’t really progress at all until you have done this.
Quid pro quo
The best approach to take if you want something from someone is to give them something. This is sort of the ‘you scratch my back’ philosophy, and it’s pretty foolproof. People often feel like they owe someone who has given them a gift or favor, and you can use this to your advantage to call in that favor. Of course, you have to be sure not to be blatant about this, and only give them something to get something in return. This is not authentic, and people will pick up on that. But, where you can, give someone something, or help them out, and they will be more likely to do the same for you down the road.
It’s the way you say it
You’d be surprised by how much you can accomplish or get from people if you ask in the right way. If you want something from someone, or you want them to do something for you, the way you speak to that person matters a lot. There are subtle techniques you can employ, like removing words that make a statement or question accusatory. Also, in certain scenarios, replacing verbs with nouns can actually have a more profound effect on people.
There’s an interesting method that psychologists think works a treat called the foot-in-the-door method. The idea behind this approach is that you ask for something small, even something you don’t want, just to get your foot in the door, metaphorically, of course. What happens is that studies prove that a person is much more likely to agree to a much larger request, after granting a small one, than they are if they are just presented with a large request – so keep this in mind.
If you follow the ideas and suggestions we’ve presented, you should be well on our way to being able to figure out and get what you want. This doesn’t mean you should go around manipulating people, but it is important to use tips and techniques in order to work toward getting what you want, whether it be on a personal or professional level.